Finally, I got some good news!!! No more trying to figure out what I am going to do next year. Why? I just got accepted to Queen's University for Teachers college in the Fall!!!

It was my first choice too...I am soo happy. Sure now I got to figure out my living situation and all that jazz but still... I am so happy. Now all I need is a job to help offset the costs of school and I am all set.

Honestly, if it is not one thing it is another with this stupid disease. Don't read this the wrong way, I am still healthy but the fact it forced me to take a year off from school only continues to rape me up the a$$ every chance it gets.

The current raping extends to the fact the year I took off put me smack dab into the double cohort. This group of people that continues to plague my existence. Why? Well... I was trying to apply to schools in the states, I had one reference letter and was just waiting on the second one before I could send it in, being the summer people are all over the place and its hard to get them done real fast. The spots were not supposed to be completely filled until around the second week of August but alas, it turns out thanks to all the people who couldn't get in this year to the schools in Ontario (like myself) they filled up two and a half months early! Now I have all my application materials and I am not sure what to do with them. And, I personally wouldn't mind taking a year off to get over this double cohort year and just work and perhaps get some practice teaching in at the same time but that does not sit well with my father. No, it does not matter that I did well in university or that I had better grades than my brothers put together or that I actually COULD go to masters if it were not for the competition there this year too (wait listed for that as well) NOOOOO to him.... I am still a bloody failure. I swear nothing I do is good enough for him...absolutely nothing. He is taking a sabbatical this coming year, he knows that sometimes it is good to take a break but the suggestion I do the same and wait for the storm to blow over means I=Failure!

The crazy thing is, my grades are good enough to get into the Masters program for the teachers colleges and those still have places left for the fall. But now it comes down to costing too much money which he forgets is still a lot less than what it cost my eldest brother to go to school. That and I can still get OSAP and bursaries and everything else to help offset the cost if I need to. It just comes down to the fact that I still don't have my license (not that it would help going across the border anyways). I keep trying to remind them that the reason I don't have my license is because I cannot drive yet without them in the car and they are NEVER around or won't let me.The only time they do is just a few minutes before the actual driving test, cause that is going to be enough practice! Yet another thing I am being slapped in the face by cancer by.

Sometimes I get the feeling that no matter what I do it just is not good enough. I mean you would think that after all I have been through I would be able to catch a bloody break once in a while but so far that has yet to have happened. And now I just want to find a hole somewhere to crawl into and wait until it is safe to show my head above ground again. :S

I am still ridiculously bored. Applications and job searching is definitely a cure of insomnia in my opinion, it just makes your eyes want to glaze over!

( Update details )

If any of you have a lead on the job front in Toronto/Mississauga would you mind helping me out, I would really appreciate the assistance. Thanks!

Stolen from Sara because I too am really bored!

( Survey Says! )

So...most of you heard about the horrific smell in my basement this year. For those who haven't heard, our basement reaked of sewage for almost the entire year. It was so bad that the three people who lived in the basement all moved out before the year was up! Anyways... after five plumbers and the city came to investigate they finally realized that we were not making up the smell. So, amongst the exam period (I really pity my other housemates) the landlords decided to fix the problem once and for all by...TEARING UP THE ENTIRE BASEMENT FLOOR!!! Between the noise pollution and the intensity of the smell from down there...I hope I don't die.

One good thing about the smell and the noise, its given me a large incentive to start packing. Therefore, today and yesterday I have done just that. I am actually almost done too. There is not really much else I can back until my parents come with my computer boxes. Everything else seems to be put away so HOORAY! Honestly the sooner I get out of this house the better!

Well I am off to dinner with friends, Ciao!

So since Tuesday I have written three exams with only one day off in between. The first was french and while I was definately more prepared for this one than the last one, it was still painful. I am hoping for a miracle and I end up with a B something in the class. The one the following day was Forensic Psychology. The questions for the multiple choice were alright but the short answer based on five articles assigned at the height of essay frenzy were nuts! Oh well... I think I answered them correctly. Finally on Friday at 9am I wrote my first year global history exam. It would have been a lot easier if not for the 93+ definitions I needed to know but I think of all three it was the least painful. Tomorrow I write my last exam which should not even exist in the first place since its for a seminar class. It is on some bullshit theory and frankly I want it to just DIE!!! Oh well... will be going to go study for it soonly and at least it means that I am done after that.

In other news, I did not get into any of the teacher's colleges I applied to. Apparently this year had more applicants than ever. York University told me that they had 6500 applications for only 720 positions, how crazy is that? I did get on the waiting list for Western and Queen's though and I am still on the waiting list for Grad school as well so things are sort of up in the air at the moment. Guh... I would have liked to have things all figured out by now but alas no. Oh well I suppose when my exams are over I can actually dwell on this but right now I don't have time.

Apparently my parents were worried I was distraught about my news from the teacher's colleges so yesterday my mom took me out shopping. I got new clothes, a movie, a new CD and was taken out for so much good food...AMAZING!! I like it when my parents try and cheer me up :D

Finally, the paper for my seminar while handed in already has been bugging me a bit. I really really really want to do well on it so that the mark in that class can counteract my horrific French mark but I don't really know what to expect. I have only handed in one thing to this prof thus far and it was an outline...you cannot base anything on that! Should prove interesting I suppose but I just hope he is lenient and gives me a good mark since I worked so hard on that 5000 word monstrosity!

I cannot believe that as of tomorrow around 5 I will officially be done my undergrad. It is so surreal. Sure I would like to be writing it with the knowledge of where I will be next year but still. It has been such a long ardurous journey for me to get here its so hard to believe that it is over...I thought the day would never come. Not that I did not enjoy my time here, on the contrary it has been the best years of my life by far, but there were so many hoops of fire I had to jump through these last five years that to have that part over is unbelievable. Now all that remains is the rest of my life...what a scary thought!

Alright back to the books I now go!

I watch Stargate Atlantis. I watch SG-1 too...in fact my whole family watches it, guilty pleasure I don't know but we do. I know it started because we all used to watch MacGiver and so when Richard Dean Anderson returned to TV we thought we would check out the show and well we sort of stayed with it. ANYWAYS.. since we have the movie channel on our satellite, I watch the current episodes of Stargate Atlantis on the movie network without commercials when I am at home. One problem, this means that I am on season three but all my friends who also watch the show are only on season two because they watch it on Space.

Why is this a problem you ask? I just watched the newest episode and they KILLED a main character! I am in such shock and yet... no one to talk to about it since everyone else is stuck on the other season!! Le sigh! I guess I am stuck dumbfounded alone. That and the context of this episode kind of hit home so it was doubly shocking!!

Hahaha its amazing how involved we get in television isn't it? Especially when we should be working on homework but its the last thing on my mind right now.

So I am taking a first year French Class. It is the advanced one which is scary when you factor in the fact I took French about SIX years ago. Anyways, I got my essay I wrote for this class back today and our prof started giving them out with presenting the 37 common errors she found in our papers. Now this is not my strongest course (for understandable reasons) and I figured that I totally failed it. My worry only climaxed when the girl who sits beside me who has a 98 in the course only got a 72 on her paper. So I waited with bated breath and then...I get the paper and its a 70! That is right the person who is doing amazing in the course only beat me by 2 percent!!! That and my comments on the paper say that my sentences were sophisticated and really really intelligent and that she did not even understand them because they were too sophisticated!

Hahahaha....sometimes I am too smart for my own good :D

Formal was last night and I think if I do say so myself...it was AMAZING. I managed to do everything I wanted to do and it looked lovely. People seemed to have a good time and none of the small things that went wrong were my doing which in itself is amazing. I looked great, the hall looked great and the food tasted good and everyone liked their gifts so it seems to have been a success.

Still I am glad its over!

On a side note: One of these days I am going to attend a formal and not end up sighing/frowning when a slow song comes on!!!